Late Night with Jeffrey Simpson: Episode 5

Sophia: Crying in her room begging for food


Jan: Getting out of bed very slowly in response to Sophia's crying


Jeff: "The loners"


Jan: "What?" because I really couldn't hear him


Jeff: "The loners"


Jan: "I can't understand you" because I really couldn't figure out where he was going with the loners thing.


Jeff: "That's the name of the team you're on"


Jan: "What team?"


Jeff: "The wiggle...something muffled...ball team you're on"


Jan: "My wiggle ball team?"


Jeff: "Yeah...its...wiggle...something 'er other ball. I cant remember the other part of the name right now."


Jan: "Ok, goodbye"

Self comment on prior "shower" post

I posted the prior post about not showering from my phone. Why? Because Sophia is currently taking a nap on me. She was screaming bloody murder even while in my arms so once she finally fell asleep I wasn't about to put her back in the crib. Anyway...when I pushed the "Publish post" button, a confirmation box popped up asking "Are you sure you want to publish this post?".

Good question! Am I sure I want to publish a post which offers way too much information about my current hygiene habits? Answer: what the hell, people are bound to figure it out next time they see me anyway!

To shower or not to shower...

That is the question everyday. Luckily the answer is easy - "not to shower"!

I used to shower everyday until I got pregnant. Then it became every other day because the heat of the shower and later the blow dryer made me sick. Now I seem to be on a shower-when-you-couldn't-possibly-get-any-dirtier schedule. Should I feel bad about this new disgusting schedule? Perhaps, but at least my house is clean, I'm somewhat well rested, and my baby has been bathed.

Jeff is leaving town tomorrow and won't be back until Monday. I should probably shower before he leaves since we all know ain't happening when he's gone!

When did I become so white trash?! Who knows! When will I go back to being normal again? That's an even better question than whether or not to shower!

Late Night with Jeffrey Simpson: Episode 4

Sophia: Crying from the next room, "Feed me!"

Jeff: "Are you going to use the balcony?"

Jan: "What?"

Jeff: "The balcony."

Jan: "What about a balcony?"

Jeff: "Don't you need to feed her?  Are you going to do it on the balcony?"

Jan: "Well, we don't have a balcony."

Jeff: "Well, what do you call the thing outside of the glass doors downstairs?"

Jan: "I call it a deck.  Do you really want me to take her outside to feed her?"

Jeff: Silence...realizing he'd done it again.

Late Night with Jeffrey Simpson: Episode 3

Sophia:  Just settled back into her crib after a nice meal (not crying!)

Jan:  Getting back into bed after feeding Sophia

Jeff: Snoring...as usual

Jan: "Can you roll over so you don't snore?"

Jeff: "I need to save her."

Jan: "What?"

Jeff: "I need to save her if she cries."

Jan: "So why can't you roll over?"

Jeff: "If she cries, I need to go save her, but I don't have a nipple that gives her milk."

Jan: "Ok..."

Jeff: "Ugh..." rolls over, "My nipple can't give her milk to calm her."

Jan: "I still don't see how this prevents you from rolling over."

Jeff: Clearly defeated rolls over and stops snoring

Late Night with Jeffrey Simpson: Episode 2

Sophia: Crying because she's hungry and waking both Jeff and I

Me: Lazily sitting up in bed and rubbing my eyes

Jeff: "Does she need to pass damsels?"

Me: pause..."What?"

Jeff: "Didn't we find that if she passed damsels she could breathe easier?" 

Me: Trying not to laugh so I can keep the "conversation" going as long as possible, "I guess I don't know what a damsel is."

Jeff: SOOO irritated and with a rather harsh voice, "Do you want her to poop or not?"

Me: working oh-so-hard to keep the giggling silent

Jeff: In an irritated and harsh tone, "Damn it...Nevermind...Huff", rolls over and goes back to sleep.

Then I go into Sophia's room and see something like this...

How could I not love late-night feedings!?!

Late Night with Jeffrey Simpson: Episode 1

Sophia: Crying because she's hungry and waking both Jeff and I

Me: Lazily sitting up in bed and rubbing my eyes

Jeff: Still half asleep but with eyes wide open, "Are you just going to put her on the board?"

Me: "What?"

Jeff: "She'll get nutrition from the board. Are you just going to put her on the board instead of feeding her?"

Me: "I have no idea what you're talking about"

Jeff: In a completely irritated tone and rolling over to go back to sleep, "Nevermind...I'll explain it to you in the morning".

Late Night with Jeffrey Simpson: Introduction

For those who don't know, Jeff couldn't be a nicer person.  He never raises his voice at me except when I'm being a backseat driver (meaning every time we drive) and if he's awoken in the middle of the night (usually by my elbow indicating that he's snoring and needs to roll over).  So I've learned to just let him be a grump at those times and not take it personally.  On a few occasions when Jeff wakes up in the middle of the night for one reason or another he might say a silly thing or two, but that's been rare...until now!

With all the waking up in the middle of the night that we're doing, Jeff is growing increasingly delusional during the late night feedings (even though he doesn't even have to get out of bed!).  I've started typing out these "conversations" while Sophia eats.  The only trouble is trying not to laugh so much since I was shaking Sophia with each chuckle.  Anyway, for your enjoyment I'll be posting each of these conversations (with Jeff's permission). Hope this makes you smile and laugh...we're still laughing at our house!

Look who turned one...one month that is!

I can't believe a month has past already!  Sophia is a very cute, very good little baby.  She is very happy most of the time and is starting to smile a lot more.  She's also balding in the front and growing a mullet in the back...not sure how to swap the regions where her hair grows.  We love our little girl and love watching her grow.  Here are some of the latest pics for your enjoyment.

The Mullet

Nap time for the girls!

Strike a pose

Strike another pose

Nap time with daddy

Thanks for the cute sweater Grandma!

Marshmallow Cheeks

Like mother like daughter

Sophia's first snowfall - snowfall not accumulation of snow!